C/Fe

Japanese students are the worst students I have ever seen. They are like androids, or, as the case may be, gynoids. (You've just been made nerdier. Deal with it.) Besides the fact that they really do look factory made, with identical uniforms, uniformly black hair, and invariable skin and eye color, they show no evidence of independent initiative.

Here are some things Japanese students can't do. I've worked at this job for over a month now, and none of my students has yet asked a question in class. Not one. No one has asked me to explain anything, clarify what I said, or even just repeat what I said. I mean it, no questions. This includes asking to use the bathroom. As far as I can tell, Japanese students do not pee, further reinforcing my conclusion that they are, in fact, robots. You can even confuse them like robots. Try these simple steps the next time you get a chance. First, ask them a question they don't know the answer to. Actually, that's the only step. Now stand back and watch as the little machine searches its memory files for the answer. When it can't find the answer, it doesn't give you a wrong answer. It can't do that. It doesn't say, "I don't know." I don't think it can do that either. It'll just keep on searching for the answer, silently staring straight down at its desk. It'll sit like that for minutes, hours, weeks, months. Or until you reboot it.

But really, I can't fault Japanese workmanship. These kids never miss a day of school, and everyday they serve their own school lunches and clean the whole school. Bathrooms, classrooms, mopping, sweeping, the works. I'm really thinking of getting one for around the house. I think Toyota makes an affordable economy model.